Its that time of year....

Its that time of year where I get sad. I miss my family and spending the holidays with them. I miss my mom and grandmother's cooking.....I miss irritating my sister Avery and having her say "whatever Terra" because she's 15 and does that.....I miss being with people outside of just myself, Ryan and the girls. Another year of having to make a Christmas dinner for 4 people(the twins count as 1 since they rarely eat anything) and make it where we don't have too many leftovers that everyone is saying that again? So for Christmas I'm making a quarter shank ham, broccoli/rice/cheese casserole, creamed corn, mashed potatoes, rolls and a super duper small dessert that Eryn and I picked out at Walmart. I'd rather my mom and grandma make their specialties and let me clean up. HAHA

I know I'm an Army wife and I'm proud of my husband, but I wish the Army hadn't of stationed us so far from family. Its hell being away from people they want to celebrate with. Back on track with being proud of my husband cause I can't praise him enough...... I'm very proud of my husband for empowering 3 of his soldiers that they passed PT so they could be promoted to the next rank. His unit is a family that has come together. I'm regularly known as Mrs. G and it makes me feel good that they know who I am even though I regularly drop off snacks. Anyway....Its hard to drive home to either Georgia or Indiana being 26 hours from either one. Flying would be a financial drain since we need 5 seats and the luggage costs would be unreal.

And while I'm in my blogging mood I have a love/hate relationship with the Army right now. I love that we have a paycheck that can sustain our family life, but it keeps my husband gone or focused on work when he should be with us. Every time I hear someone complain about their husband being gone overnight or even on a 2 week business trip I have to roll my eyes and sigh. Because a temporary trip is not even the same as someone gearing up for a deployment that is months out. Long hours at their office, long hours at the unit office, meetings, bringing huge folders of paperwork home to do "home work". I'm so over this crap.

So now I'm on to my next gripe/complaint/Terra's complaining....?
One of the dertachments for 4th Finance is deploying soon. Like soon soon. So since I'm the FRG leader I need to have troops and family members to provide snacks/food for totally last minute. The FRG is supposed to be families, but its not happening. I'm stressing about having a good send off for HQ soldiers since we sent Bravo off in style. Someone please pray that someone steps up to help me. Aghhh...

Krista's new love

Our sweet little peanut Krista has a new fascination with a certain picture of Ryan's sister Lisa and her family of hubby Eric and baby girl Savannah. She carries this wallet size picture of them around the house and essentially talks to when she's playing or walking around the house. I think its so cool because she recognizes people and talks to them like they are right here in the house.

Eryn and her trusty violin

For the second year in a row Eryn has decided to play violin. Ironically, it is the same violin that I used when I played in my final year-8th grade. She loves playing as much as I did and still wish I could remember the notes so we could play together. Here are some pictures of last night's performance. I will say it was a much better performance than last year. ;)

My Girls

You would have to call me crazy if I wasn't a worried mom of two identical baby girls every day of the week. Every moment of their life I try to keep separate with them growing up as individuals in our world. I see two little girls who are turning 2 who look exactly alike with different personalities who define who they are.

Kendra...the second twin who wants to shine to the world. Everyone needs to see her up close and in person.

And then we have Krista, the small dynamite package who arrived first and wants the world to know she's here in a smaller way. Krista is the dynamite with Kendra lighting the fuse.

Without one the other is lost. They sleep together...they eat together...everything is better when you have your other half with twins. keeping these two rugrats was hell on us all, but I wouldn't trade my twins for the world. <3

Deployments

So where do I start.....its November and Ryan isn't scheduled to deploy till later(sorry but OPSEC makes me wait) but I'm inspired to blog my experience of R's last 14 month and 21 day deployment in 2007-2008. Ryan and I got married in late December 2008 and he deployed 15 days later. It sucked big time because we were newlyweds. I can still remember the details of that day in Fort Stewart, GA. Had to wait and wait....then draw his weapon, wait wait some more...and then suddenly his CO said you have 5 minutes for formation and that was it. A day of waiting and waiting and we had 5 minutes to say goodbye. I had tears, I pulled out my camera as I took the last pic I would see for months. I have the picture, but can't seem to pull it up. It was the picture I sent to all of his family and looked at for months. He was a 1LT, not yet a CPT and it made me teary everytime. New marriage and new life to adjust to.

Our 12 months consisted of me working at the church and Ryan instant messaging me on the computer during the day and luckily my church family didn't care. They were thankful that I got to talk to him and communicate with him and knowing he was safe. Big thanks to Tommy, Bro Ben, Chance and Ty for being so understanding of the situation I was in.


In April 2008 we found out that Ryan was going to be extended an extra 3 months. It as like hitting rewind on the 3 months he had been here. I was at school that night in Savannah and came home to see the news he had been extended. My phone started ringing from his mom and sister asking if it affected Ryan. Yep, it affected him. 3 months down the drain.

And now I'm preparing 2 years later for a deployment. They suck, no denying it. My advice is this...

1. Keep yourself busy.

2. No news is good news.

3. Watching the news is pointless. Someone from DoD will inform you before some idiot from CNN decides to show up on your door.

4. The communication you do receive--cherish it because you never know when you will receive it again. Live for today, not tomorrow.

5. Don't worry if you miss a phone call. I know their random, but your soldier will forgive you. You have a life and family to tend to. Guilt sucks, but your human.

My day in El Paso

I'm not a fan of El Paso culture and shopping and my visit into the world of El Paso for Christmas/birthday shopping had me STRESSED. The twins are turning 2 and even though they won't remember anything, I do have 2 gifts from us planned. They really don't NEED anything, every else is more wants for the twins. They have clothes, we've gone through their books to rid the cracked/broken ones. I realize we need education toys for them to fight over. I have bought them both a sit and spin and 2 gifts from us on their actual gifts on their birthday on Wednesday. Am I a bad mom for only buying my girls 2 presents for their actual birthday? They don't care...they really don't. They just love to get individual mom and dad attention. I do my best to give both girls the attention they want, but right now I'm overwhelmed. Yep, an overwhelmed mom of 2 kids the same kids needs a break. I'm tired of everything....a twin who throws toys...one who whines.....one who eats and one who wants to drink juice/milk. I am thankful for Amanda C for making extra food and Bethany H for borrowing her drink dispenser. Without friends I would be lost. I'm frustrated and ready to cry...I won't cry though. I love them both so much, just wish they'd get along. I'm ready for their party since we celebrate their life and enjoy time with friends, but the cleaning up is out of my hands. Please let it all work out.

Why are women such bullies?

I've been thinking a lot about how some women are complete bullies to other women. Mostly on message boards, but I don't really think women really think about how their cutting others down which is essentially bullying. With so many stories of children being bullied at school with many of them committing suicide, why don't women think about what they say is conveyed to their own children? Even if you are on a message board full of women, why do they feel its okay to make others feel inferior, stupid or just belittle them with comments like "its my opinion and I don't care if you like it or not". Or "are you just a complete idiot"? Who made them the authority on life, the Army, even the relationship the woman might be just needing some advice on?

My next though.....cliques. I thought cliques were for kids in middle and high school? Not grown women who lead a posse of followers so they are more popular and help spread the bullying to others? Does it make them feel better to be part of that special group of women who know it all?