My Girls

You would have to call me crazy if I wasn't a worried mom of two identical baby girls every day of the week. Every moment of their life I try to keep separate with them growing up as individuals in our world. I see two little girls who are turning 2 who look exactly alike with different personalities who define who they are.

Kendra...the second twin who wants to shine to the world. Everyone needs to see her up close and in person.

And then we have Krista, the small dynamite package who arrived first and wants the world to know she's here in a smaller way. Krista is the dynamite with Kendra lighting the fuse.

Without one the other is lost. They sleep together...they eat together...everything is better when you have your other half with twins. keeping these two rugrats was hell on us all, but I wouldn't trade my twins for the world. <3

Deployments

So where do I start.....its November and Ryan isn't scheduled to deploy till later(sorry but OPSEC makes me wait) but I'm inspired to blog my experience of R's last 14 month and 21 day deployment in 2007-2008. Ryan and I got married in late December 2008 and he deployed 15 days later. It sucked big time because we were newlyweds. I can still remember the details of that day in Fort Stewart, GA. Had to wait and wait....then draw his weapon, wait wait some more...and then suddenly his CO said you have 5 minutes for formation and that was it. A day of waiting and waiting and we had 5 minutes to say goodbye. I had tears, I pulled out my camera as I took the last pic I would see for months. I have the picture, but can't seem to pull it up. It was the picture I sent to all of his family and looked at for months. He was a 1LT, not yet a CPT and it made me teary everytime. New marriage and new life to adjust to.

Our 12 months consisted of me working at the church and Ryan instant messaging me on the computer during the day and luckily my church family didn't care. They were thankful that I got to talk to him and communicate with him and knowing he was safe. Big thanks to Tommy, Bro Ben, Chance and Ty for being so understanding of the situation I was in.


In April 2008 we found out that Ryan was going to be extended an extra 3 months. It as like hitting rewind on the 3 months he had been here. I was at school that night in Savannah and came home to see the news he had been extended. My phone started ringing from his mom and sister asking if it affected Ryan. Yep, it affected him. 3 months down the drain.

And now I'm preparing 2 years later for a deployment. They suck, no denying it. My advice is this...

1. Keep yourself busy.

2. No news is good news.

3. Watching the news is pointless. Someone from DoD will inform you before some idiot from CNN decides to show up on your door.

4. The communication you do receive--cherish it because you never know when you will receive it again. Live for today, not tomorrow.

5. Don't worry if you miss a phone call. I know their random, but your soldier will forgive you. You have a life and family to tend to. Guilt sucks, but your human.

My day in El Paso

I'm not a fan of El Paso culture and shopping and my visit into the world of El Paso for Christmas/birthday shopping had me STRESSED. The twins are turning 2 and even though they won't remember anything, I do have 2 gifts from us planned. They really don't NEED anything, every else is more wants for the twins. They have clothes, we've gone through their books to rid the cracked/broken ones. I realize we need education toys for them to fight over. I have bought them both a sit and spin and 2 gifts from us on their actual gifts on their birthday on Wednesday. Am I a bad mom for only buying my girls 2 presents for their actual birthday? They don't care...they really don't. They just love to get individual mom and dad attention. I do my best to give both girls the attention they want, but right now I'm overwhelmed. Yep, an overwhelmed mom of 2 kids the same kids needs a break. I'm tired of everything....a twin who throws toys...one who whines.....one who eats and one who wants to drink juice/milk. I am thankful for Amanda C for making extra food and Bethany H for borrowing her drink dispenser. Without friends I would be lost. I'm frustrated and ready to cry...I won't cry though. I love them both so much, just wish they'd get along. I'm ready for their party since we celebrate their life and enjoy time with friends, but the cleaning up is out of my hands. Please let it all work out.

Why are women such bullies?

I've been thinking a lot about how some women are complete bullies to other women. Mostly on message boards, but I don't really think women really think about how their cutting others down which is essentially bullying. With so many stories of children being bullied at school with many of them committing suicide, why don't women think about what they say is conveyed to their own children? Even if you are on a message board full of women, why do they feel its okay to make others feel inferior, stupid or just belittle them with comments like "its my opinion and I don't care if you like it or not". Or "are you just a complete idiot"? Who made them the authority on life, the Army, even the relationship the woman might be just needing some advice on?

My next though.....cliques. I thought cliques were for kids in middle and high school? Not grown women who lead a posse of followers so they are more popular and help spread the bullying to others? Does it make them feel better to be part of that special group of women who know it all?