Its that time of year where I get sad. I miss my family and spending the holidays with them. I miss my mom and grandmother's cooking.....I miss irritating my sister Avery and having her say "whatever Terra" because she's 15 and does that.....I miss being with people outside of just myself, Ryan and the girls. Another year of having to make a Christmas dinner for 4 people(the twins count as 1 since they rarely eat anything) and make it where we don't have too many leftovers that everyone is saying that again? So for Christmas I'm making a quarter shank ham, broccoli/rice/cheese casserole, creamed corn, mashed potatoes, rolls and a super duper small dessert that Eryn and I picked out at Walmart. I'd rather my mom and grandma make their specialties and let me clean up. HAHA
I know I'm an Army wife and I'm proud of my husband, but I wish the Army hadn't of stationed us so far from family. Its hell being away from people they want to celebrate with. Back on track with being proud of my husband cause I can't praise him enough...... I'm very proud of my husband for empowering 3 of his soldiers that they passed PT so they could be promoted to the next rank. His unit is a family that has come together. I'm regularly known as Mrs. G and it makes me feel good that they know who I am even though I regularly drop off snacks. Anyway....Its hard to drive home to either Georgia or Indiana being 26 hours from either one. Flying would be a financial drain since we need 5 seats and the luggage costs would be unreal.
And while I'm in my blogging mood I have a love/hate relationship with the Army right now. I love that we have a paycheck that can sustain our family life, but it keeps my husband gone or focused on work when he should be with us. Every time I hear someone complain about their husband being gone overnight or even on a 2 week business trip I have to roll my eyes and sigh. Because a temporary trip is not even the same as someone gearing up for a deployment that is months out. Long hours at their office, long hours at the unit office, meetings, bringing huge folders of paperwork home to do "home work". I'm so over this crap.
So now I'm on to my next gripe/complaint/Terra's complaining....?
One of the dertachments for 4th Finance is deploying soon. Like soon soon. So since I'm the FRG leader I need to have troops and family members to provide snacks/food for totally last minute. The FRG is supposed to be families, but its not happening. I'm stressing about having a good send off for HQ soldiers since we sent Bravo off in style. Someone please pray that someone steps up to help me. Aghhh...
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Krista's new love
Our sweet little peanut Krista has a new fascination with a certain picture of Ryan's sister Lisa and her family of hubby Eric and baby girl Savannah. She carries this wallet size picture of them around the house and essentially talks to when she's playing or walking around the house. I think its so cool because she recognizes people and talks to them like they are right here in the house.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Eryn and her trusty violin
For the second year in a row Eryn has decided to play violin. Ironically, it is the same violin that I used when I played in my final year-8th grade. She loves playing as much as I did and still wish I could remember the notes so we could play together. Here are some pictures of last night's performance. I will say it was a much better performance than last year. ;)
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
My Girls
You would have to call me crazy if I wasn't a worried mom of two identical baby girls every day of the week. Every moment of their life I try to keep separate with them growing up as individuals in our world. I see two little girls who are turning 2 who look exactly alike with different personalities who define who they are.
Kendra...the second twin who wants to shine to the world. Everyone needs to see her up close and in person.
And then we have Krista, the small dynamite package who arrived first and wants the world to know she's here in a smaller way. Krista is the dynamite with Kendra lighting the fuse.
Without one the other is lost. They sleep together...they eat together...everything is better when you have your other half with twins. keeping these two rugrats was hell on us all, but I wouldn't trade my twins for the world. <3
Kendra...the second twin who wants to shine to the world. Everyone needs to see her up close and in person.
And then we have Krista, the small dynamite package who arrived first and wants the world to know she's here in a smaller way. Krista is the dynamite with Kendra lighting the fuse.
Without one the other is lost. They sleep together...they eat together...everything is better when you have your other half with twins. keeping these two rugrats was hell on us all, but I wouldn't trade my twins for the world. <3
Monday, November 8, 2010
Deployments
So where do I start.....its November and Ryan isn't scheduled to deploy till later(sorry but OPSEC makes me wait) but I'm inspired to blog my experience of R's last 14 month and 21 day deployment in 2007-2008. Ryan and I got married in late December 2008 and he deployed 15 days later. It sucked big time because we were newlyweds. I can still remember the details of that day in Fort Stewart, GA. Had to wait and wait....then draw his weapon, wait wait some more...and then suddenly his CO said you have 5 minutes for formation and that was it. A day of waiting and waiting and we had 5 minutes to say goodbye. I had tears, I pulled out my camera as I took the last pic I would see for months. I have the picture, but can't seem to pull it up. It was the picture I sent to all of his family and looked at for months. He was a 1LT, not yet a CPT and it made me teary everytime. New marriage and new life to adjust to.
Our 12 months consisted of me working at the church and Ryan instant messaging me on the computer during the day and luckily my church family didn't care. They were thankful that I got to talk to him and communicate with him and knowing he was safe. Big thanks to Tommy, Bro Ben, Chance and Ty for being so understanding of the situation I was in.
In April 2008 we found out that Ryan was going to be extended an extra 3 months. It as like hitting rewind on the 3 months he had been here. I was at school that night in Savannah and came home to see the news he had been extended. My phone started ringing from his mom and sister asking if it affected Ryan. Yep, it affected him. 3 months down the drain.
And now I'm preparing 2 years later for a deployment. They suck, no denying it. My advice is this...
1. Keep yourself busy.
2. No news is good news.
3. Watching the news is pointless. Someone from DoD will inform you before some idiot from CNN decides to show up on your door.
4. The communication you do receive--cherish it because you never know when you will receive it again. Live for today, not tomorrow.
5. Don't worry if you miss a phone call. I know their random, but your soldier will forgive you. You have a life and family to tend to. Guilt sucks, but your human.
Our 12 months consisted of me working at the church and Ryan instant messaging me on the computer during the day and luckily my church family didn't care. They were thankful that I got to talk to him and communicate with him and knowing he was safe. Big thanks to Tommy, Bro Ben, Chance and Ty for being so understanding of the situation I was in.
In April 2008 we found out that Ryan was going to be extended an extra 3 months. It as like hitting rewind on the 3 months he had been here. I was at school that night in Savannah and came home to see the news he had been extended. My phone started ringing from his mom and sister asking if it affected Ryan. Yep, it affected him. 3 months down the drain.
And now I'm preparing 2 years later for a deployment. They suck, no denying it. My advice is this...
1. Keep yourself busy.
2. No news is good news.
3. Watching the news is pointless. Someone from DoD will inform you before some idiot from CNN decides to show up on your door.
4. The communication you do receive--cherish it because you never know when you will receive it again. Live for today, not tomorrow.
5. Don't worry if you miss a phone call. I know their random, but your soldier will forgive you. You have a life and family to tend to. Guilt sucks, but your human.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
My day in El Paso
I'm not a fan of El Paso culture and shopping and my visit into the world of El Paso for Christmas/birthday shopping had me STRESSED. The twins are turning 2 and even though they won't remember anything, I do have 2 gifts from us planned. They really don't NEED anything, every else is more wants for the twins. They have clothes, we've gone through their books to rid the cracked/broken ones. I realize we need education toys for them to fight over. I have bought them both a sit and spin and 2 gifts from us on their actual gifts on their birthday on Wednesday. Am I a bad mom for only buying my girls 2 presents for their actual birthday? They don't care...they really don't. They just love to get individual mom and dad attention. I do my best to give both girls the attention they want, but right now I'm overwhelmed. Yep, an overwhelmed mom of 2 kids the same kids needs a break. I'm tired of everything....a twin who throws toys...one who whines.....one who eats and one who wants to drink juice/milk. I am thankful for Amanda C for making extra food and Bethany H for borrowing her drink dispenser. Without friends I would be lost. I'm frustrated and ready to cry...I won't cry though. I love them both so much, just wish they'd get along. I'm ready for their party since we celebrate their life and enjoy time with friends, but the cleaning up is out of my hands. Please let it all work out.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Why are women such bullies?
I've been thinking a lot about how some women are complete bullies to other women. Mostly on message boards, but I don't really think women really think about how their cutting others down which is essentially bullying. With so many stories of children being bullied at school with many of them committing suicide, why don't women think about what they say is conveyed to their own children? Even if you are on a message board full of women, why do they feel its okay to make others feel inferior, stupid or just belittle them with comments like "its my opinion and I don't care if you like it or not". Or "are you just a complete idiot"? Who made them the authority on life, the Army, even the relationship the woman might be just needing some advice on?
My next though.....cliques. I thought cliques were for kids in middle and high school? Not grown women who lead a posse of followers so they are more popular and help spread the bullying to others? Does it make them feel better to be part of that special group of women who know it all?
My next though.....cliques. I thought cliques were for kids in middle and high school? Not grown women who lead a posse of followers so they are more popular and help spread the bullying to others? Does it make them feel better to be part of that special group of women who know it all?
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Random Junk about Twins
Before I had twins or even found out I was pregnant with twins I admit I was fascinated about twins specifically identical twins. There were four sets of identical twins in my high school at one time and seeing them in the hallways at various times wearing different times had people turning their heads. I do remember one set named Tracie and Stacie--something I was not going to repeat with my two. We did have a family member suggest Krista and Trista and we nixed that idea real quick.
I had a couple of twin comments recently that make me chuckle and also want to slap my forehead at the same time. My family and I are used to the stares and comments from the public when we go out in public. Sometimes its fine, sometimes its very annoying. People want to stop and stare and say dos bebe?? And then they say same same? I'm guessing they mean twin and I say si and get doble which I know means double. Then the older lady, its always an older grandma type, tries to love on them and say mommas.....mommas so sweet. And I know this is way out of left field, but I just love going to the doctors office and hearing Kreesta and Keendra Gillies. No joke. We hear that every doctors office in El Paso.
Back to my regular talk about twins. Having twins is different than having one. Its an adventure and a nightmare every day. Krista and Kendra must have this twin talk every morning on who is going to be the nightmare twin. Its a surprise every morning to see who wakes up in a good mood. Lately Krista has been the happy smiley one who has a good day. Kendra not so much. She steals her sisters juice cup and cries easily. But give it two weeks and the two will switch rolls.
For your enjoyment a little insight on how the twins act:
1. Krista is the bossy twin. She takes things from her sister and Kendra just lets it go. Krista is notorious for taking toys and Kendra just lets her.
2. Kendra is more talkative. We can say something to her and she repeats what you say. Krista follows her sisters lead and does what she does roughly 2 weeks later.
3. They have to sleep next to or near each other. That is a given that even the hourly daycare workers have caught on to. Total breakdown broke out when the twins were separated at naptime.
4. Krista is the bossy twin, Kendra is the mellow twin. They work well together. Krista has to see her sister when their at daycare especially.
5. They both love to eat....but never seem to gain weight. They both weigh around 23 pounds and wear a size 12 months in jeans. Almost 2 and wear 12 month jeans. Nice huh?
6. Kendra likes fruit more than Krista and Krista tends to eat veggies more. They like to swap food.
7. Krista tends to break down faster when she's overwhelmed than Kendra does. Krista will suck her fingers(number 5 on left hand and 4 on right hand) to comfort herself. Kendra will go to her sister when she sees she's stressed. We call it 5 and 9 here at home.
8.Krista is a huge cuddler and Kendra is not. Krista is actually drawn to momma more with Kendra favoring big sis Eryn.
So thats my random stuff about twins. I love having twins since their is never a dull moment with these two. They fight, they irritate each other, but yet that can't live without the other.
I am actually writing a book to the girls to be given to them when they turn 21. Its a mix of the trials and problems we went through with them being TTTS twins. TTTS is a very rare condition that affects identical twins. Its actually an interesting read.
Love from Texas,
Terra
I had a couple of twin comments recently that make me chuckle and also want to slap my forehead at the same time. My family and I are used to the stares and comments from the public when we go out in public. Sometimes its fine, sometimes its very annoying. People want to stop and stare and say dos bebe?? And then they say same same? I'm guessing they mean twin and I say si and get doble which I know means double. Then the older lady, its always an older grandma type, tries to love on them and say mommas.....mommas so sweet. And I know this is way out of left field, but I just love going to the doctors office and hearing Kreesta and Keendra Gillies. No joke. We hear that every doctors office in El Paso.
Back to my regular talk about twins. Having twins is different than having one. Its an adventure and a nightmare every day. Krista and Kendra must have this twin talk every morning on who is going to be the nightmare twin. Its a surprise every morning to see who wakes up in a good mood. Lately Krista has been the happy smiley one who has a good day. Kendra not so much. She steals her sisters juice cup and cries easily. But give it two weeks and the two will switch rolls.
For your enjoyment a little insight on how the twins act:
1. Krista is the bossy twin. She takes things from her sister and Kendra just lets it go. Krista is notorious for taking toys and Kendra just lets her.
2. Kendra is more talkative. We can say something to her and she repeats what you say. Krista follows her sisters lead and does what she does roughly 2 weeks later.
3. They have to sleep next to or near each other. That is a given that even the hourly daycare workers have caught on to. Total breakdown broke out when the twins were separated at naptime.
4. Krista is the bossy twin, Kendra is the mellow twin. They work well together. Krista has to see her sister when their at daycare especially.
5. They both love to eat....but never seem to gain weight. They both weigh around 23 pounds and wear a size 12 months in jeans. Almost 2 and wear 12 month jeans. Nice huh?
6. Kendra likes fruit more than Krista and Krista tends to eat veggies more. They like to swap food.
7. Krista tends to break down faster when she's overwhelmed than Kendra does. Krista will suck her fingers(number 5 on left hand and 4 on right hand) to comfort herself. Kendra will go to her sister when she sees she's stressed. We call it 5 and 9 here at home.
8.Krista is a huge cuddler and Kendra is not. Krista is actually drawn to momma more with Kendra favoring big sis Eryn.
So thats my random stuff about twins. I love having twins since their is never a dull moment with these two. They fight, they irritate each other, but yet that can't live without the other.
I am actually writing a book to the girls to be given to them when they turn 21. Its a mix of the trials and problems we went through with them being TTTS twins. TTTS is a very rare condition that affects identical twins. Its actually an interesting read.
Love from Texas,
Terra
Friday, October 15, 2010
I lost someone, but gained something else..
I lost a friend recently....very recently. A friend who I valued her friendship, until she got crazy after finding out her spouse had done some questionable things while deployed. I listened to her rants, her frustrations, etc, but I had enough when she became vindictive compared to venting. When you in front of myself and my husband say your going to take him for everything he's got and leave him with nothing but his
Harley and the clothes on his back I feel your being vindictive. He's a good dad to the kids, he's a good husband and provider. I get your mad, but go to counseling and work on your life together or separate without being a complete vindictive bitch. You laid it out how you were going to do your life and honestly is was vindictive and sorry. No more of saying You don't know what I've gone through. Sorry, dude but I have. My first husband cheated on me after 6 years together.
I've been there are started over.
On to life in the Gilles house.......I hate training. Seems like my husband is gone more for trainings and meetings at battalion more than he's home. Seems like he does more training for a deployment than he's home and its driving me nuts. Its the whole Meeting after meeting consumes our life and makes for a crabby husband when he's home. R doesn't deploy for a while but he's gone to meetings and 3 day TDY's more than I care to count. I wish the Army would realize that wives want to see their spouses BEFORE they deploy.
On to other news...the twins turn 2 next month. Holy cow I'm about to have 2 year old twins. Can I just say their a handful?? I was conversing with a fellow Army wife who is pregnant with twins apparently identical from the doctor's assessment from ultrasound. I was quick to tell her to be alert to TTTS with her twins since its very prevalent in identical twins. I worry for other twin moms like we're related. If not for the doctors at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, my miracles wouldn't be here. I'm geting teary so I'm signing off for the night.
Terra
Harley and the clothes on his back I feel your being vindictive. He's a good dad to the kids, he's a good husband and provider. I get your mad, but go to counseling and work on your life together or separate without being a complete vindictive bitch. You laid it out how you were going to do your life and honestly is was vindictive and sorry. No more of saying You don't know what I've gone through. Sorry, dude but I have. My first husband cheated on me after 6 years together.
I've been there are started over.
On to life in the Gilles house.......I hate training. Seems like my husband is gone more for trainings and meetings at battalion more than he's home. Seems like he does more training for a deployment than he's home and its driving me nuts. Its the whole Meeting after meeting consumes our life and makes for a crabby husband when he's home. R doesn't deploy for a while but he's gone to meetings and 3 day TDY's more than I care to count. I wish the Army would realize that wives want to see their spouses BEFORE they deploy.
On to other news...the twins turn 2 next month. Holy cow I'm about to have 2 year old twins. Can I just say their a handful?? I was conversing with a fellow Army wife who is pregnant with twins apparently identical from the doctor's assessment from ultrasound. I was quick to tell her to be alert to TTTS with her twins since its very prevalent in identical twins. I worry for other twin moms like we're related. If not for the doctors at Cincinnati Children's Hospital, my miracles wouldn't be here. I'm geting teary so I'm signing off for the night.
Terra
Ugh...
These past two weeks have been hell. Literally pure hell with Ryan coming and going at odd hours. It honestly feels like he's deployed since he's gone all hours of the day and coming home at odd hours and having to field calls about troops in his unit. I get all that since its a part of his commanding his troops...what I don't get is the BS crap that pops up with after hours that makes him a difficult bear to live with. I'd rather he would get this stupid deployment over with so he can go back to normal.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Vacation
For the past two weeks the twins, Eryn and myself have been on vacation in Georgia visiting the parents, sister and grandma. And trust me its gone quick!
We've had a great time visiting some of the places we miss to eat at such as Tex-Mex Mexican, Japanese food, certain fast food we can't find in El Paso, TX. We've laid by the pool, gone to Fort Discovery in Augusta, Bee City in South Carolina and a little shopping. Just enjoying time with family.
We've had a great time visiting some of the places we miss to eat at such as Tex-Mex Mexican, Japanese food, certain fast food we can't find in El Paso, TX. We've laid by the pool, gone to Fort Discovery in Augusta, Bee City in South Carolina and a little shopping. Just enjoying time with family.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Proud of my soldier
I sit here tonight thinking of the next 16 days without my husband and realizing thats no big deal. My blog is a time for me to let go of emotions that keep my husband from me and our family. He was scheduled to leave on Sunday for deployment training and yet he's leaving 2 days earlier. Not by our choice and of course we're not happy about it, but what do we do.
Ryan is a good soldier. He takes care of those below him that he doesn't want left behind on a flight yet, he has to do it and he's frustrated which makes me frustrated for him. Less than 24 hours and I send him off to no mans land.
I have yet to really deal with the emotions of my husband leaving. We have no official orders, but a lot of training and a "boots on ground" date that we can't disclose. Its very frustrating as the FRG leader. Technically I'm the Family Readiness Group leader. I help the families of spouses, parents, children, etc deal with their spouse deployed while doing the same for myself. I've shed tears, but their tears of confusion, sadness and normal crying for all the soldiers leaving. Its hard. Its hard knowing months out the center of your family is leaving for numerous trainings and not knowing how to react. My husband is an Active Duty soldier....his full time job is the Army. That what pays his salary for his wife and kids. Today I feel like a very proud Army wife.
Ryan is a good soldier. He takes care of those below him that he doesn't want left behind on a flight yet, he has to do it and he's frustrated which makes me frustrated for him. Less than 24 hours and I send him off to no mans land.
I have yet to really deal with the emotions of my husband leaving. We have no official orders, but a lot of training and a "boots on ground" date that we can't disclose. Its very frustrating as the FRG leader. Technically I'm the Family Readiness Group leader. I help the families of spouses, parents, children, etc deal with their spouse deployed while doing the same for myself. I've shed tears, but their tears of confusion, sadness and normal crying for all the soldiers leaving. Its hard. Its hard knowing months out the center of your family is leaving for numerous trainings and not knowing how to react. My husband is an Active Duty soldier....his full time job is the Army. That what pays his salary for his wife and kids. Today I feel like a very proud Army wife.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
"Happy" Memorial Day
his is written by a Gold Star Wife, Deb Petty, who encouraged others to share. I hope you will take her words to heart.
Every year at this time I fight with the idea that people tell me “Happy Memorial Day”. People that know me, know what Ive gone through… still say it to me. Family still says it. For the rest who say it, do you think that there is anything “happy” at all about remembering all those who have died for this country? I blog about this every year and I don’t think there will ever be a year that I don’t. When I hear those three words my skin crawls.
“Happy Memorial Day”…it seems to just flow of the tongues of those around us. As though Memorial Day is just any other “holiday” to be celebrated with joy and happiness. When someone says “Hey Happy Memorial Day” what exactly are they so “happy” about? Maybe its the extra 20% or 30% they will get off beach towels at Macys, or maybe its the fact that they are off work, cooking out and not paying any attention to why they are really off work. Do these “happy” people take any time during their day off to share a moment thinking of those who paid the ultimate price for them to be off work and cooking out, or shopping “the big sale”??
Do people take the time to teach and show their children the importance of Memorial Day? Do they take them to a National Cemetery and show them all the lives that have been lost, tell them what that means for those who are still alive? Do they educate their children to show respect to those who have fallen for all the freedoms we take for granted every damn day? Do they just take a moment, a simple moment in their day to show that they care, or understand what the day is about?
My first Memorial Day I was not willing to admit that it had anything to do with Chris. We had always gone and placed flags at grave sites on this day. My first Memorial Day I did the same thing with Oliver and Owen in tow. But on that first one, there were more deaths. A CPT Alex Funkhouser was killed while in the line of duty not only to his country but to US reporters in Iraq. I knew that all that I had been feeling since January 5, his wife would now feel too. My heart broke for I knew every Memorial Day she would have a double heart wrenching reminder of her husband’s death. I knew that she would face Memorial Day and the 29th of May, double days for her. Little did I know that this wife, now a new widow like me would become one of my best friends. Little did I know that she had two girls close to my two boy’s age. Little did I know that our lives ran in such a parallel manner.
My second Memorial Day I took the boys and we went to Virginia to see Chris’ mom. I wanted to spend this Memorial Day with Chris at Arlington. I wanted the boys to see that they were not only, not alone; but that they could still be near their father. As that day went on there were more cameras taking pictures of them by the Chris’ grave.(One made it to the front page of the Washington Post the next day) There were families that just stood there, paying their respects and as the tears flowed down their cheeks they watched Oliver fix a flag by Chris’ grave. They watched Owen pluck the heads of the flowers there and they watched a mother with tears in her eyes as she realized this was her reality, this was her life. Watching her two boys “play” with or by their father…the only way they ever would be able to.
As I looked around and saw their faces, their tears and their heads shaking back and forth; I realized that yes there are those out there that don’t say “Happy Memorial Day”, they come to Arlington to pay their respects to OUR fallen. They come to be with those who have paid the ultimate and spend time with their families. There was a father there, in uniform and beside him was his little son in BDUs. They stood at attention as TAPS played. I was so taken by this that I asked him why he does this with his son and he said “death is a part of life, death for your country is going beyond what life can offer” “I want my son to realize what this day is for. Not just a day off school or work, I want him to understand and respect the magnitude of what and who and why we have set this day aside to honor and remember those who have died in combat”. I burst into tears, gave him a big hug and as I let go of him he and his son saluted the boys and I and then went to salute Chris. (Gosh I have tears running down my face typing this) I have never seen the true meaning in any one person’s eyes of what Memorial Day means to them then that of those eyes that day.
So I ask that if you don’t know anyone who has been affected by a war death, to please at least teach your children what Memorial Day is for. Take them to a National Cemetery and place a few flags, go on and Google Memorial Day, teach them about what this day means. This is just a small thing to do, teach your kids what this country is about, teach them why we need to stand up for it, love it, and protect it. That is the BEST way to honor our fallen, those who fought and died for what they beleived in. For those families that struggle everyday without their loved one, this is a small gesture for them too. It tells us that our loved one, did not die in vein. If you do know someone who has lost someone to a war, this one or any previous, please take the time to just tell them you are thinking about them, you are grateful and love them. But please don’t say “Happy Memorial Day” to them…for us there is nothing “happy” about it.
To all my widsters that might read this, know that on Memorial Day, your Anniversaries and every day of the year, I think of OUR HEROES! I think about your families, your pain, your hearts your children and your happiness. For those who have lost a family member to previous wars, my heart and my thoughts are always with you too. Thank you for your loved ones service to our great nation, I am forever in their debt for their sacrifice.
May this Memorial Day bring you comfort in knowing that our Great Nation acknowledges and says “Thank You” for the sacrifice OURS and THEIR HEROES have made for us and them!
May we raise a glass to OUR HEROES! WE love you…We miss you…We are proud of you….We are forever YOURS!
Every year at this time I fight with the idea that people tell me “Happy Memorial Day”. People that know me, know what Ive gone through… still say it to me. Family still says it. For the rest who say it, do you think that there is anything “happy” at all about remembering all those who have died for this country? I blog about this every year and I don’t think there will ever be a year that I don’t. When I hear those three words my skin crawls.
“Happy Memorial Day”…it seems to just flow of the tongues of those around us. As though Memorial Day is just any other “holiday” to be celebrated with joy and happiness. When someone says “Hey Happy Memorial Day” what exactly are they so “happy” about? Maybe its the extra 20% or 30% they will get off beach towels at Macys, or maybe its the fact that they are off work, cooking out and not paying any attention to why they are really off work. Do these “happy” people take any time during their day off to share a moment thinking of those who paid the ultimate price for them to be off work and cooking out, or shopping “the big sale”??
Do people take the time to teach and show their children the importance of Memorial Day? Do they take them to a National Cemetery and show them all the lives that have been lost, tell them what that means for those who are still alive? Do they educate their children to show respect to those who have fallen for all the freedoms we take for granted every damn day? Do they just take a moment, a simple moment in their day to show that they care, or understand what the day is about?
My first Memorial Day I was not willing to admit that it had anything to do with Chris. We had always gone and placed flags at grave sites on this day. My first Memorial Day I did the same thing with Oliver and Owen in tow. But on that first one, there were more deaths. A CPT Alex Funkhouser was killed while in the line of duty not only to his country but to US reporters in Iraq. I knew that all that I had been feeling since January 5, his wife would now feel too. My heart broke for I knew every Memorial Day she would have a double heart wrenching reminder of her husband’s death. I knew that she would face Memorial Day and the 29th of May, double days for her. Little did I know that this wife, now a new widow like me would become one of my best friends. Little did I know that she had two girls close to my two boy’s age. Little did I know that our lives ran in such a parallel manner.
My second Memorial Day I took the boys and we went to Virginia to see Chris’ mom. I wanted to spend this Memorial Day with Chris at Arlington. I wanted the boys to see that they were not only, not alone; but that they could still be near their father. As that day went on there were more cameras taking pictures of them by the Chris’ grave.(One made it to the front page of the Washington Post the next day) There were families that just stood there, paying their respects and as the tears flowed down their cheeks they watched Oliver fix a flag by Chris’ grave. They watched Owen pluck the heads of the flowers there and they watched a mother with tears in her eyes as she realized this was her reality, this was her life. Watching her two boys “play” with or by their father…the only way they ever would be able to.
As I looked around and saw their faces, their tears and their heads shaking back and forth; I realized that yes there are those out there that don’t say “Happy Memorial Day”, they come to Arlington to pay their respects to OUR fallen. They come to be with those who have paid the ultimate and spend time with their families. There was a father there, in uniform and beside him was his little son in BDUs. They stood at attention as TAPS played. I was so taken by this that I asked him why he does this with his son and he said “death is a part of life, death for your country is going beyond what life can offer” “I want my son to realize what this day is for. Not just a day off school or work, I want him to understand and respect the magnitude of what and who and why we have set this day aside to honor and remember those who have died in combat”. I burst into tears, gave him a big hug and as I let go of him he and his son saluted the boys and I and then went to salute Chris. (Gosh I have tears running down my face typing this) I have never seen the true meaning in any one person’s eyes of what Memorial Day means to them then that of those eyes that day.
So I ask that if you don’t know anyone who has been affected by a war death, to please at least teach your children what Memorial Day is for. Take them to a National Cemetery and place a few flags, go on and Google Memorial Day, teach them about what this day means. This is just a small thing to do, teach your kids what this country is about, teach them why we need to stand up for it, love it, and protect it. That is the BEST way to honor our fallen, those who fought and died for what they beleived in. For those families that struggle everyday without their loved one, this is a small gesture for them too. It tells us that our loved one, did not die in vein. If you do know someone who has lost someone to a war, this one or any previous, please take the time to just tell them you are thinking about them, you are grateful and love them. But please don’t say “Happy Memorial Day” to them…for us there is nothing “happy” about it.
To all my widsters that might read this, know that on Memorial Day, your Anniversaries and every day of the year, I think of OUR HEROES! I think about your families, your pain, your hearts your children and your happiness. For those who have lost a family member to previous wars, my heart and my thoughts are always with you too. Thank you for your loved ones service to our great nation, I am forever in their debt for their sacrifice.
May this Memorial Day bring you comfort in knowing that our Great Nation acknowledges and says “Thank You” for the sacrifice OURS and THEIR HEROES have made for us and them!
May we raise a glass to OUR HEROES! WE love you…We miss you…We are proud of you….We are forever YOURS!
And so it begins....
In a little less than two weeks Ryan is off to Wisconsin for finance training for a two weeks. The training and time gone before the deployment is one of the worst. Its depressing knowing that the short time you still have together is being consumed with necessary training before they deploy. And no this won't be the only training. Two weeks in Indianapolis and training here at Fort Bliss before they go.
We have our "boots on ground" date. Meaning the day they have to be in country. Of course I can't disclose that date due to OPSEC, but its close to our anniversary.
So for now we're going to attempt to enjoy what time we have together. Spending a week in Indiana, two weeks for me in Georgia and then our summer is pretty much done.
We have our "boots on ground" date. Meaning the day they have to be in country. Of course I can't disclose that date due to OPSEC, but its close to our anniversary.
So for now we're going to attempt to enjoy what time we have together. Spending a week in Indiana, two weeks for me in Georgia and then our summer is pretty much done.
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