My reflections....

Even though Ryan has only been gone a mere 48 something hours I have reflections in my life that make this deployment completely different from the one we survived in 2007-08. This deployment I'm 26 hours from family and completely alone with 3 kids versus the 1 had in Georgia. Or am I? I might have 2 more kids, and no full-time paying job, I still have my Army family. Maybe Ryan should be paying me to keep the kids happy and fulfilled with the pay I used to get with the Methodist church?

Ryan called me around 3am MNT time and I was out. I was up with the twins kicking the door down and remembered looking at the clock at midnight and crashing. He called a couple hours later, but I was out. He did call around 9:40am, our time and he was able to "talk" to the girls and we had a few minutes to chit chat about stuff. Later in the evening Kendra kept walking around the house saying daddddddaaa at the top of her lungs like she calls for her twin Krista and it broke my heart. Calling for dad who she obviously remembers but not finding him. :( Girls went to bed with their daddy dolls.

Today was laundry day. I literally kept looking at the 3 piles of laundry and avoided them till 9 when I knew I had to do them since I had to have something to wear to do my errands. My errands consisted of picking up Ryan's vehicle 25 minutes away and doing some random stuff that I've been putting off. Just simple stuff, but I needed an adult to stay in the car with the twins while I did them. I should note that Ryan's phone is turned off since he is gone.

Our day progressed with getting a shower(yes!!) and doing my errands with a crew of kids, and the laundry is done. Now on to my reflections.

1. Friends in your life are considered Army family if your far from home. Ryan's vehicle is back in the driveway thanks to my friend Bethany whose hubby is also deployed. Ryan's car keys are attached to my van keys to remind me to drive it twice a week. YUCK, no AUX cord for my ipod.

2. The house will be messy. Before Ryan left we picked up the toys when the twins went to bed, swept the floor, I did the dishes, etc. The dishes were always for me, but Ryan would pick up the toys and sweep up the floor when asked. Same goes for the trash on Tuesday, that was Ryan's job. Now I have a reminder on my phone for Trashy Tuesday to put the trash cans out. And lastly Ryan would fold the clean towels since I did the other clothes. Now its all on me and Eryn. I've realized at the end of the day when the twins go to bed I say oh well the toys will be there tomorrow when Kendra dumps them yet again. The mess will be still be there in the morning so oh well. Toys are toys right? The towels will still be there and we can just grab them when its time for bath time for any of us. Still thinking about trashy Tuesday since its now my job. :)

3. Children as young as 2 still know that something is up if a parent leaves. Kendra realizes she hasn't seen her daddy, yet she's heard his voice thousands of miles away. She can hug her daddy doll who looks like daddy, but its not the actual daddy who comes in the door saying woof woof and has her running for the door to greet him. She's confused since I ask where daddy is and she looks, but she gets confused and irritated. Children do understand at this age. Poor kid asked for her daddy, but he wasn't there.

Finally, hug or kiss your spouse or significant other where ever they might be. My love is across the sea and knows I'm thinking of him. Love and miss you Ryan.